Some thoughts I had on expectations…..

Hello all.  It’s been a long while since I wrote here. Sorry about that…..

When I was a teenager I totally thought I’d be more than I am right now.  I was going to really BE somebody, I was going to do important things, and be someone important, too.  I believed this with every fiber of my young, cocky being.  For me, it was an undeniable truth – I didn’t even waste time thinking about the alternative.

Never mind the fact that I didn’t know how to work hard.  Never mind the fact that I expected things to be (basically) handed to me.  Never mind the fact that I was rather sheltered from reality.  Or the fact that I couldn’t slow down, or shut off the screaming in my own head (or my own house, for that matter).  I had so much anger, resentment and good old fashioned fear of my own mind.  It basically paralyzed me until my mid 20’s.

So now I find myself at 36 years old, not quite a college graduate.  I am just a regular guy.  My wife and I struggle to pay the bills.  I don’t make enough money.  We forget to do the laundry.  I hate mowing the lawn.  Just a regular, suburban guy. I’ve found enough peace (and quiet) in my head and life that I’m OK with that.  I’m “just” going to be Marli Ann Parsons’ or Luke Thomas Parsons’ daddy.  And that’s 100% OK.

Huh.  It looks like I’m going to do some amazing, important things after all.

–KBP

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